As a follow on from Laura’s ‘feminist wedding’ blog last week about her dreams of wanting to get engaged and that not making her a bad feminist, I wanted to respond with my own views on marriage!
I am a feminist, I make engagement and wedding rings, I adore people’s love stories, yet I am not necessarily traditional, and I don’t dream of getting married – at least not the classic way!
I see myself as very independent, I have been from a young age and there is a lot about old-fashioned marriage that seems to take a woman’s independence away and that is exactly what I fear. I don’t want to lose my identity and to ‘belong’ to someone else. But we’re in 2019, same sex marriage is legal, gender equality is becoming a thing, and women are standing up for what they believe in so I think we should tear up the rules and do what we want.
Aside from all this and me not being sure whether I want to get married I love making engagement and wedding rings! The stories and the symbolism of peoples’ love for one another is one of the reasons I love my job. Engagement rings make great heirloom pieces and carry so much history, they tell so many tales of eras gone by.
Have you ever asked your Gran how your Grandfather proposed? If it’s not a swoony-romantic story I bet it will at least give you a laugh!
What I do believe in, is commitment, love and passion and finding your person. I do dream of a happily ever after but I think marriage in its traditional form is a patriarchal farce old fashioned and I think we can have more fun with it these days. Let’s make our own traditions! (I actually read the other day that traditions are just rules we follow made by dead people…)
If I do ever get engaged, I would like my person to speak to both of my parents before proposing, more out of respect than anything and I’d love a special proposal I will remember forever (it adds to the story!)
If I happen to actually go through with getting married; I will walk down the aisle on my own as a sign of independence but to also meet my other half as an equal; I will only have my very closest family and friends there – I don’t like the idea of putting on a show for hundreds of people I haven’t seen for 10 years or spending tens of thousands on one day (also don’t be surprised if I run off to Vegas! In fact, knowing me I would probably drink too much champagne and marry a stranger in Vegas…) and I will keep my own name or have a double-barrelled name.
I think what Laura has outlined is so accurate in that there are no rules anymore! My mother and stepfather got married on a beach in Australia with us four kids there and it was the most special day. And that isn’t for everyone, but here’s the thing, you do you!
And although I don’t dream of getting married, I do dream of the ring and one thing I do know is my engagement ring will tell a story of an equal relationship, love, support and passion; and the story will be told through beautiful, glittering old-cut Diamonds and maybe a couple of Sapphires.
Do you dream of a feminist wedding? What story will your engagement ring tell and how will you tell your love story? And if you want to know how to design your perfect engagement ring (traditional or not!) then click the button below to download our engagement ring guide!